12 days of Size-mas! -youtuber edition
by hiddendreamer67
Summary: On the 12th day of December, the internet brought to you: 12 days of giant/tiny oneshots! Featuring Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, Pewdiepie, CutiepieMarzia, Danisnotonfire, and amazingPhil. Tune in for fluff based on "the twelve days of christmas". Every youtuber has two chapters where they are the designated 'tiny'. Now sit back and enjoy!
1. 12 drummers drumming

"Hey, is it cool if I set your stuff here?" Mark asked, gesturing to the countertop.

"Be my guest." Jack shrugged. Jack had ultimately decided to keep his room in the kitchen. Mark had offered Jack a human sized room, but Jack had politely declined. He didn't need all that space to himself. Besides, the kitchen is where the snacks are kept.

"Alrighty then!" Mark stepped back, admiring his handiwork. "That's the last of it. I'm gonna finish some of the ladder installations. Do you need anything before I go?" Jack shook his head. "Okay, suit yourself. See you in a couple hours."

As soon as Mark was out of the room, Jack took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Neither of the guys had lived with a roommate of a different size before, which made the arrangement a little rocky. Sure, the two had been close friends for years, but the size difference meant nothing when you live across the globe and talk through a computer screen. Being in close quarters put things back into perspective.

Jack looked around at the giant room, seeing all the additions that had to be made just for him. Ladders to get up on tables and counters, pulleys to open cupboards or drawers, and tiny doors cut in the walls so he could cross between rooms without Mark leaving every door open. Jack felt a bit bad about how much he would be rearranging Mark's life. Maybe he shouldn't have moved to L.A.

"No." Jack argued with his own thoughts aloud, looking only slightly crazy. "Mark wouldn't have suggested this if it would really bug him. I'm probably just a lil' homesick."

Jack's room, which had been brought over from Ireland with the move, looked small next to the coffee maker. It was actually a well-crafted wooden cabin- er, more of a box really. Inside, Jack had secured his belongings down for the trip with many knotted strings. It had taken a miracle (and a lot of his Ma's packing) to fit everything inside. Jack opened the front door, peering in. Luckily everything looked unscathed.

Curious as to what all was packed in the pandemonium of moving week, Jack began to pull out boxes and unpack. There was a great deal of knick-knacks from fans, his clothes, toiletries, extra socks (courtesy of Ma), recording equipment, a megaphone, extra extra socks, various other necessities, and in the last box…

"My old drum kit?!" A surprised Jack laughed. "When Ma said she packed everythin', she meant _everythin'._ Man, I haven't played this thing in years."

Hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia, Jack decided to set it up. He sat in the well-worn seat, letting his hands readjust to the familiar feel of drumsticks at his fingertips. He grinned at the memories, and began to bang the drums with reckless abandon. The emanating racket filled the house, and distantly Mark could be heard giving a yelp of surprise. Jack paused, hearing the rapid thumping of Mark's footsteps.

"Jack?!" Mark came running into the room to see what the commotion was, looking worried. "Jack, are you-" Mark paused, seeing the little irishman give a devilish grin. "Uh, since when do you play the drums?"

"Since college." Jack answered, before striking the instrument once again with relish.

"How does that not hurt your ears?" Mark asked, tensing up at the volume. "Aren't you supposed to have sensitive hearing or something?" Jack paused, giving Mark a slight glare.

"Are you making assumptions about my kind?" Jack said in a menacing tone. When Mark looked apologetic, Jack laughed and lightened his demeanor. "Nah, I'm just teasin' ya. We're born with better hearing, but mine's kinda botched from doing THIS!" The sudden bang on the drum made Mark flinch. "That, and I'm wearing earplugs." He pulled them out for a visual.

"How can you be so loud yet so short?" Mark rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"'Cause I'm a BOSS!" Jack shouted, hitting the drum with a bang. A slight whimpering could be heard, and the two boys turned to see Chica, Mark's dog, cowering in the doorway wondering what was going on. The poor pup looked so confused.

"Aww, it's okay Chica." Mark went over to comfort the pooch. "Jack's just being a loud Irishman."

"Excuse you!" Jack argued. "Now you're stereotyping the Irish!"

"No I'm not." Mark explained. "You're an Irishman, and you're loud. It's only stereotyping if I said all Irishmen are loud- which they are."

"Oh so now you're stereotyping." Jack said, crossing his arms. In response, Mark pretended to make a high fiving sound like Jack's intro.

"TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA, LADDIES!" Mark shouted in a horrible fake irish accent. Unfortunately, he was just a bit too loud for Jack's tiny ears. Jack cringed, covering his ears with his hands and feeling a buzzing in his skull.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Jack." Mark lowered his volume immediately, coming over to check if his friend was alright. He knelt down to be at eye level with the countertop. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Jack shook his head a bit to try and get rid of the feeling. He had been warned about this being one of the dangers of living with a human roommate. Humans often weren't aware of their own volume, which is why Jack had been wearing earplugs in the first place. It was a common way to prevent hearing loss when in contact with humans. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Mark looked unconvinced.

"I said I'm fine, ya big goof!" Jack laughed, this time being smart enough to put his earplugs back. "But just so we're clear, you're an idiot." Mark smiled.

"I know." Mark had the decency to look a little sheepish. "I'll, uh, go finish the installations then."

"You do that." Jack watched Mark stand up and walk across the room. Once his back was turned, Jack smiled deviously and smacked the drum with all his might. Mark covered his ears, and Jack felt a little satisfaction knowing he wouldn't be the only roommate going deaf.


	2. 11 pipers piping

"I swear, something has been stealing my stuff." Felix complained over the phone to his Irish buddy. "There's scratch marks on the food containers and i've lost at least a dozen socks…"

"That'll be Trolls." Jack joked. "They steal your socks, but only the left ones, what's with that?"

"You're nuts Jack." Felix chuckled.

"Hey, I'm not the one who has a pest problem and memory loss." Jack chided. Felix was about to retort with a clever insult about the Irish, when a clattering was heard in the Kitchen next door.

Felix peered around the corner, searching for the source of the noise. Surely his eyes were playing tricks on him! Standing near the toaster appeared to be a tiny girl looking terrified, no bigger than his hand.

"Uh, Jack?" Felix turned back. "I've gotta go." Then he quickly entered the kitchen.

"What the..?" Felix went to look again, but the girl was gone. "Must be going crazy already then." He sighed, pulling out his pipe. He lit it with a practiced hand. Felix leaned closer to the toaster, inspecting the spot again and letting out a puff of smoke.

He froze when he heard an almost inaudible sneeze. Hesitantly, he reached out to move the toaster.

"Hello?" He called out, seeing something shuffle behind it. "Tiny girl? I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." There was no response, so he continued to pull the toaster away. "Would you please come out?" He froze as she moved near his hand, not daring to put her in danger. Slowly, slowly, she peeked her head around the toaster and looked up at him fearfully. Felix gaped down at her in shock, still thinking this was all fake.

"Uh...hi." He carefully removed his hands and knelt down to be at eye level. She flinched as he got closer, but stayed looking at him. "What's your name?"

Her lips moved, but Felix couldn't hear anything. He leaned closer, but this only caused her to let out a yelp and go back into hiding.

"I'm sorry!" He whispered, leaning back immediately. "I just couldn't hear you. Please come back."

"M-Marzia." The girl said a little louder, still barely reaching Felix's ears. He gave her a comforting smile.

"Hello Marzia, my name is Felix." He introduced himself, thinking it would be a bad idea to try and shake hands. "You can come out Marzia, I won't move, I promise." She peeked her head back out. "Hey, I'll keep my hands behind my back. If you feel like it you can break out the handcuffs. We'll have a fun time." He winked cheekily, and she gave a nervous laugh. This time she stepped out so she was fully visible. Felix could see her visibly shaking, but she was clenching her hands and clearly trying to be brave.

"You're strange." Marzia observed.

"Well, so are you." Felix teased. "I'm not the one a few inches tall." His widened at the words that just came out of his own mouth."Oh shoot, is that offensive?" She laughed again, shaking her head. "What, do I really look that funny?" He wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

"You're not what I pictured humans like at all." Marzia admitted.

"Wait, so you're not human?" Felix asked. Marzia hesitated for a moment, as if she had spilled too much. "You don't have to tell me-"

"No, it's okay." Marzia interrupted, making up her mind. "I'm a borrower."

"What's a borrower?" Felix asked.

"What, you've never heard the stories?" When Felix shook his head, Marzia continued. "I've heard there's some human lore on us. Basically, we've adapted to live in the walls of your houses. We borrow little, unnoticeable things that we need for survival."

"Like socks?" Felix asked.

"Oh no, did you notice?" Marzia looked visibly upset. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this yet. It's my first time living alone."

"Hey, it's okay!" Felix shrugged. "You're welcome to anything. My house is your house, apparently. I mean, I want it to be both of us! Do you need anything? I'll get it for you. Or bring it to you, or leave it out…"

"That's not how it's supposed to work," Marzia smiled, "But thank you." Then Marzia's expression fell. Felix noticed her look upset.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, worried. "What did I do wrong?"

"No, nothing!" Marzia assured him. "In fact, you've been far too pleasant. Now it's all so complicated. We're not supposed to let humans see us. They're too dangerous."

"Oh, I promise not to hurt you." Felix put his hands up to show he meant no harm. "I'll stay out of your way."

"No, it's just…" Marzia, throwing caution to the wind, decided to tell him everything. "The borrower code states that if you're seen, you have to move. For the good of all borrowers."

"You're...you're going to have to move because of me?" Felix looked like a puppy abandoned in the rain.

"I dunno." Marzia admitted. "I don't want to."

"Then don't." Felix pleaded. "Please, I don't want to put you in danger. You deserve to live here. If anything, I should move!"

"No you shouldn't!" Marzia laughed. "You're just being silly."

"Well, then you're being silly." Felix retorted. "Neither of us should have to move. Here, I'll fix it." He put his hand over his eyes, blocking his vision. "There, I never saw you. You go back and we forget this ever happened."  
"Oh my goodness." Marzia rolled her eyes good naturedly. Realizing Felix was serious, she slowly began to make her way back to the outlet that hid the way back.

"Hey, Marzia?" Felix called out, keeping his eyes covered.

"I thought we were forgetting about each other?" Marzia reminded him, but her tone was a little regretful. She knew the right choice was to move, but in her heart she knew she couldn't do it.

"I know, but…" Felix sighed, sounding both sad and a tad hopeful. "Do you think we'll ever see each other again? Er, for the first time?" Marzia was quiet for a moment.

"There's a first time for everything." Marzia said pleasantly.


	3. 10 lords a' leaping

"Phil…" Phil knew that tone. Dan was not happy with him again. Phil quickly shoved more cereal away and walked back into plain view on the countertop, looking sheepish. Dan was looking irritated down at him, arms crossed. "What're you doing?"

"Um…" Phil shuffled his feet. "Well, I certainly _shouldn't_ be eating your cereal." Dan raised an eyebrow, causing Phil to break. "But I am, I suppose."

"Phil, we've talked about this." Dan sighed. "You're going to let bugs in if you keep tearing holes in the boxes."

"But I was hungry!" Phil protested. "And that's the only way I can get to it."  
"Then let me help you!" Dan argued.

"But you're never awake early enough." Phil pouted.

Dan considered his point. "Okay, fair. You can come wake me up then." Phil snorted, remembering the last time he tried to wake Dan up. Dan had apologized profusely, but Phil thought it was best to avoid that scenario.

"Wait, maybe not." Dan cringed, remembering the incident himself. "I'll just set an alarm or something."

"You don't have to do that." Phil said. "I don't want you to have to get up early just to feed me like a needy puppy."

"But you're a cute needy puppy." Dan argued. "And besides, I need to do something before you end up taking all the cereal."  
Phil sighed, scratching at his neck where the collar used to be while Dan went to get the cereal. Though Dan was only joking, Phil's kind was viewed but most of the world as domesticated, unintelligent creatures. Dan had removed the collar insisting they were equal friends, but it's hard to erase years of brainwashing believing he was meant to be no more than a pet. The necessary dependence on Dan wasn't helping.

"Hey, you okay?" Dan asked, looking concerned as he handed Phil a lucky charm marshmallow. "You know I was just kidding, right?"

"Yeah." Phil shrugged. "It's fine." Dan looked unconvinced, but he was wise enough to drop the subject.

"So, you wanna watch some tv with breakfast?" Dan asked, holding out his hand for transportation.

"Uh…" Phil looked at the hand that carried him everywhere, and was suddenly struck by an idea. "You know what? I'll meet you there."

"Oh don't be silly, just get on." Dan insisted. He paused, thinking. "You're not still afraid, are you?"

"No!" Phil rolled his eyes. Ever since Phil had admitted to Dan that being around humans made him nervous, Dan was always worried that Phil was going to spaz out in fear. "It's just that, if we're roommates now, I need to practice getting around without your help. I don't need to be your responsibility all the time."

Dan looked a little hurt. "It's not like that; I just want to help my roommate."

"You mean your needy puppy?" Phil smiled to show he was joking.

"Alright." Dan retracted his hand. "You're right. So, how do you plan on getting down from the counter?"

"I don't plan to get down." With this, Phil took a running leap and jumped from the counter to the bar stool slightly below. Dan let out a startled noise, worried for Phil, but Phil just rolled his eyes at his concern.

"One small step for Dan, one giant leap for Phil-kind!" Phil joked, earning a half-amused snort from his friend.

"Yeah yeah, daredevil." Dan lectured. "Just please be more careful."

"Whatever do you mean?" Phil said mischievously, knowing this was driving Dan insane. Quick as a rabbit Phil leapt to another stool, down the line until he was closest to the wall.

"Phil-!" Dan warned, and was ignored. Phil's heart raced in exhilaration; Dan's heart raced in trepidation. Soon, however, Phil ran out of places to leap.

"Where do you plan on going now, hotshot?" Dan questioned. Seeing Phil eye the armchair a foot away, Dan began to get worried. "Phil, don't even think about it. You can't make that."

Phil was beyond reason. Taking a deep breath, Phil launched himself off the edge of the chair, catapulted through the air… and began to free fall a few inches short of the armchair.

"PHIL!" Dan cried, diving to the ground just in time to catch his friend before Phil became nothing more than a splat on the floor. Phil let out a small 'oof!' as the breath was knocked out of him.

Dan sat up, breathing heavily from the adrenaline. He held Phil up in order to inspect him. "Phil...Phil, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Phil sounded slightly raspy.

"Are you sure? You're not hurt?"

"No." Phil shook his head. "Just my pride." Seeing that Phil was in no present danger, Dan went back to trying to cheer him up.

"Hey, c'mon." Dan nudged Phil with his knuckle. "That was pretty cool until you nearly died." Dan cringed. "Sorry, not helping. What I mean is, uh… it's not exactly your fault. This apartment isn't very user friendly to someone of your stature." Now Dan had his full attention. "Maybe we should do some renovations around here."

"Wait, seriously?" Phil started to get excited.

"Yeah." Dan shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's like you said- you live here too and should be able to get around the apartment alone."

"Oh my goodness I have so many ideas!" Phil looked to be bursting with inspiration. "If we just attached some extra border to make it thicker, some extra staples in the wall, a few well-placed pulleys…"

"Wait, you've lost me." Dan chuckled, standing up. "You're speaking gibberish. How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Uh, a little while." Phil lied. "Or, maybe more like a few months."

"Phil, you've just got to ask!" Dan scolded him. "Honestly, if you don't die tripping over your own two feet it'll be because you were too polite to ask for a drink of water."

"Well, you're going to die of a heart attack if you keep worrying about me so much." Phil teased.

"Oh shut up."


	4. 9 ladies dancing

Marzia glanced around the living room, seeing that she was alone. Little did she know, Felix was carefully hidden away in the hole behind the clock, watching. Felix didn't think it was stalking, more like...observing. Of course, most borrowers observed humans. The only difference was most borrowers did so to learn the human's patterns, gathering information for when it's safe to borrow and when it's not. Felix just observed for another reason, a secret reason he could never put into words because it would make his problem all too real.

Deciding she was alone, Marzia turned on the Stereo. A poppy, bouncy beat picked up with foreign words. Marzia nodded along to the beat, mouthing along to the words. Felix recognized the tune from other times she had put it on. He knew that she loathed a silent house and would often fill the empty rooms with songs. Soft, pleasant melodies were the most common. When she was most happy, this song would play. Marzia smiled, enjoying the beat. And then, she did what Felix loved to watch the most- she began to dance.

Her moves were ungraceful, sporadic, and perfect. She twirled around the room, nearly bumping into the coffee table. Winking at an invisible audience, she tossed her hat off. Arms raised high with the chorus. Feet bounced to the beat. Hit with a wave of energy, Marzia incorporated jumping on the couch into her routine. It was utter madness, and to Felix it was beautiful.

This is why he observed her. Felix cared for Marzia in a way no borrower should care for a human. He loved her. He loved her obsession with all things cute and her passion for fashion and the melodies with which she filled the house.

There was only one song Felix ever dreaded hearing. He had only ever heard it once. Marzia had returned home late that night, not bothering to turn the lights on and headed to bed. She used a remote to turn on the stereo. It was a beautiful song. It was slow and full of emotion, telling a story of life and the tragedy of living without a single lyric. Marzia's feet did not meet its welcoming tones. Instead, she lay in bed. And cried.

Felix was ashamed to admit he had almost revealed himself that night. If she had raised her head from the pillow, she would have seen him standing on the bedside table, looking nervous and at a loss of what to do. How could he live so close to Marzia and not be able to do anything to help her? He didn't even know what caused her tears to fall.

So still, Felix watched from a distance. Despite his heart, he knew better than to be reckless. One day, he would be brave enough to approach his beloved Marzia. One day; not today.


	5. 8 maids a' milking

"What'cha doin' there, Mark?" Jack asked, waking up on Christmas Eve to the sounds of a busy kitchen. This was usual, except today he didn't smell the familiar scents of pancakes, bacon, or even eggs.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Mark asked, pouring some milk into the mixing bowl. Jack glared at him. "C'mon, just guess."

"I don't have enough coffee in me to put up with you yet." Jack argued. Jack grabbed a thimble-sized mug from his stash and carefully scooped some for himself out of Mark's much larger mug. Mark always put too much sugar in for Jack's taste, but Jack didn't mind- except for days like today when Mark decided to do some of this nonsense first thing in the morning.

"You're no fun in the morning." Mark pouted.

"Yeah, and you're no fun ever." Jack retorted. Mark playfully poked him in the side with his finger, causing Jack to stumble and almost spill his coffee.

"Hey, watch it!" Jack scolded him, catching his balance. Mark showed no remorse. "Stupid giant-" Jack's insults were cut off as Mark turned on the electric mixer, drowning out his tiny roommate. Jack suspected Mark timed it that way on purpose. Jack had no choice but to wait for Mark to finish, thankful he was wearing his earplugs.

"So what are-" Jack was cut off by a short burst of noise from the mixer. "MARK!"

"Sorry." Mark laughed, clearly not sorry. "Okay, I'll stop."

"So what-" the mixer cut him off again. Mark burst out laughing. Jack glared at his towering roommate. "I hate you."

"Okay." Mark wheezed, catching his breath. "Okay, I'm done now." Jack turned away from him, giving Mark the silent treatment and not falling for his shenanigans a third time. "Oh c'mon, there's no reason to be like that. Here, I'll unplug it. Better?" Jack didn't budge. "Fine, be that way." Mark covered a section of the counter in flour, and plopped some of the mixed dough out of the bowl. Using a rolling pin, he began to smooth it out to an even thickness. Out of the corner of his eye, Mark saw Jack shoot him a curious glance.

"You don't have to be a grouch every morning." Mark reminded him.

"Well you're not a' bucket of sunshine yerself." Jack retorted.

"He speaks!" Mark exclaimed, to which Jack rolled his eyes.

"So what are you making?" Jack asked, curiosity overcoming his urge to pout.

"I'm making some christmas cookies for Santa." Mark explained, continuing to prep the cookie dough. Jack stared at him.

"Mark, yer' a grown man." Jack said slowly.

"Yep." Mark agreed. "I'm a grown man baking goodies for a mythical man who travels faster than the speed of light once a year to deliver presents to children. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." Jack shrugged. "Just so long as you don't force your perfectly sane roommate to join your weird cult ritual."

"Well.." Jack looked up to see Mark staring at him with hopeful eyes.

"Oh hell no." Jack shook his head.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Mark pushed, sounding excited.

"Mark, how on Earth could I possibly help cut out cookies?" Jack argued, approaching him. "I'm as big as the cookie cutters!"

"I said it will be fun, not efficient." Curse those puppy dog eyes. Jack could never say no to Mark.

"Fine." Jack agreed. "But I'm making one shaped like Santa's butt and no one can stop me."

Later that evening, the two admired the fruits of their labors.

"I think they turned out pretty well." Mark said, inspecting one of the snowflake shaped ones.

"Speak for yerself." Jack grumbled. His butt-shaped cookie had less than adequate results, melding together so it just resembled a misshapen circle.

"That's what you get for trying to ruin Christmas." Mark said wisely. "Do you want to decorate it with frosting?"

"And get more sticky?" Jack groaned. "I'm already covered in dough. Have I not suffered enough?"

"Well, a wise man once said if you're going to shower you might as well go all the way." Mark argued, getting out the decorations.

"A wise man once said screw you." Jack sassed him, but he began spreading the frosting regardless. "Hey, this one's looking pretty good!" Jack suddenly found himself in darkness as Mark leaned over him, inspecting his work.

"Yeah, that's a beautiful rendition of Picasso." Mark joked.

"It's a santa hat." Jack glared at him. "Also, yours aren't much better. What's with the melting zombie?"

"Excuse you!" Mark gasped. "My frosty the snowman cookie is a culinary masterpiece!"

"That's what you said about bacon donuts." Jack reminded him. While it had seemed like a good idea, that had failed miserably. Jack's tastebuds were still scared.

"Yeah, whatever." Mark stepped back. "Well, I think these are done. I'm gonna put them by the fireplace."

"What, all of them?" Jack asked as Mark piled them up on a plate. "What about us?"

"We get to share these sentimental memories for all eternity." Mark said wistfully. He poured a cool mug of milk to go with the cookies.

"Hardy-har-har." Jack was unamused. "Jackaboy needs sugar and Jackaboy needs it now."

"Markimoo knows Jackaboy needs a shower." Mark replied, leaving for the living room. Jack cursed him under his breath as he returned to his house to shower.

When Mark returned to the kitchen, Jack was still out of sight. Mark thought nothing of it and began preparing a dinner of chicken and dumplings. However, after the meal was prepared and dinnertime had arrived, Mark found it strange that Jack had still made no appearance. No sounds of running water could be heard, either.

"Jack?" Mark knocked on his front door with his knuckle. "It's dinnertime." When there was no response, Mark began to get concerned. "Jack, you in there?" Hearing no response, Mark called out to the whole kitchen. He began to call Jack's name in each room, careful to keep his volume down as his worry grew. Luckily Chica was sleeping in his room with the door closed, so she was no danger.

"Hey Mark." Mark felt a wave of relief when he found Jack in the living room. Jack had found the plate and mug set out as milk and cookies for Santa. Regardless of the intended recipient, Jack had already devoured what looked like his body weight in cookies.

"Uh, Jack, the milk and cookies are supposed to be for Santa?" Mark reminded him.

"Santa can fight me." Jack dunked another bit of cookie in the milk.

"Geez, with that attitude you'll make the naughty list for sure." Mark teased.

"Everybody loves a bad boy." Jack winked cheekily. "Besides, there's always next year."

"When you'll eat his cookies and drink his milk again."

Jack grinned. "You know me so well."


	6. 7 Swans a shrinking

Dan let out a large yawn, finally pulling himself out of bed at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. He crinkled his nose, immediately being assaulted with a wretched, unnatural burning smell.

"Morning." Phil teased, busy with one of his wacky experiments in the kitchen.

"You know, normal roommates wake up to the smell of pancakes, not mad science." Dan pointed out, helping himself to some coffee.

"Hey, normal is boring." Phil shrugged. "And it's not mad science." Phil added a pinch of something blue to the mixture, causing a small puff of smoke that startled Dan.

"Phil, please be careful." Dan cautioned. He didn't want Phil to nearly burn down the kitchen...again. Phil just waved him off. "What are you doing, exactly?"

"Well, I'm trying to make homemade mini m&m's," Phil explained, "by shrinking down normal sized m&m's."

"It's a shrinking potion?" Dan gazed into the cooling pot where the smell originated. "I'm pretty sure that qualifies as mad science."

"It's a shrinking solution." Phil corrected, using a ladle to pour some into a bowl for soaking m&m's. "It makes it sound more scientific."

"More mad if you ask me." Dan joked, causing Phil to roll his eyes.

Now, it's important to note three things: the kitchen was quite cramped, Phil was far from graceful, and poor Dan was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Aah!" Phil let out a sound of surprise as he lost his balance. Phil tripped over his own two feet, knocking his roommate and himself to the ground and spilling the solution all over Dan.

Dan groaned, both from hitting his head on the ground and a strange feeling in his gut. He vaguely remembered the solution spilling on him, but his clothes didn't feel damp. Had he blacked out?

"Dan?" Phil said nervously. That was Phil calling him, but the voice was much too loud. And it sounded as if it was coming from far above him. Dan opened his eyes and stood up, only to gasp in shock. There was his best friend, only Phil was the size of a giant. Although thinking back to Phil's experiment, Dan was probably the one who changed. Looking around, the kitchen counters towered far above his head. Dan was now probably the size of a doll.

Understandably, Dan screamed.

"Dan, calm down!" Phil said. "It's just me. Are you okay?"

"I'm the size of a coffee mug, do I look bloody okay?!" Dan continued to yell.

"Dan, I'm sorry." Phil apologized, looking like a kicked puppy. "It was an accident." Dan tried to not look at his giant roommate. Seeing Phil so huge was just weird.

"You better be able to undo this." Dan warned, but his tone was losing its bite. Curse his inability to stay mad at Phil. Immediately, Phil perked up.

"Of course, Dan!" Phil nodded. "I'll get to work right away." He reached for Dan, who promptly screamed again.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Dan screeched.

"I'm picking you up?" Phil's hand hesitated. "I assume you don't want to be stepped on," (Dan shuddered), "And you'll be safer up on the counter while I work."

"Well, you can't just go grabbing me." Dan argued. "At least ask me first. Consent is important!"

"Alright." Phil put his hands up to show he meant no harm. He chuckled. "Could I please pick you up, Dan?"

Dan was uneasy about the idea of being carried like a toy, but he knew Phil was right. It was unsafe on the ground, and Phil would be careful...unless he tripped again.

"Phil," Dan said, bracing himself and squeezing his eyes tight, "for the love of God, don't drop me."

"I promise." Phil said, taking Dan's answer as a 'yes'. With careful hands, Phil reached out and slowly picked up Dan. Phil felt Dan tense in his grip, which felt super weird.

Dan held his breath as his feet left the ground. He clenched his teeth in trepidation, feeling his stomach drop. Dan only dared open his eyes once his feet felt solid ground once more.

"You can stop shaking now, Dan." Phil said, setting Dan on the counter. "You're starting to look like a chihuahua."

Dan tried to glare at Phil, but seeing Phil tower over him even when on the counter made Dan nervous. Needless to say, the nerves did not go both ways. Phil had no problem staring curiously down at his shrunken roommate.

"Could you stop staring?" Dan broke Phil out of his trance.

"Sorry." Phil said, smiling. "You're just so tiny! I'm surprised the solution worked so well." Phil began to stride around the kitchen, gathering ingredients for an antidote. He began muttering hypotheses to himself, lost in his own scientific mind. Dan sighed, sitting down and leaning against the salt shaker, knowing this could take a while.

Usually, when busy working on a project, Phil was totally focused. But today, Phil found his eyes wandering over to the tiny brown-haired boy on the countertop. Though Dan was clearly peeved about the whole situation, Phil couldn't help but find it slightly amusing.

"You're staring again." Dan observed.

"Sorry." Phil apologized again. He added a pinch of something red to the mixture, causing the liquid to turn an orange color. He carefully collected some in an eyedropper. "Alright, according to my calculations a drop of this should return you to normal height."

"Finally." Dan stood up, ready for this nightmare to be over. He was so bored sitting alone on the counter, not able to do anything. But Phil hesitated with the eyedropper. "What's the holdup, Phil?"

"Well, this is a big breakthrough for me." Phil explained, looking very eager. "Maybe we could keep you small for a bit so I can run some tests. For science?"

"Phil." Dan glared at him.

"Or just a few quick, teeny measurements?" Phil pleaded.

"NO!"

"Oh, alright." Phil sighed, letting a drop fall on Dan. The next instant, Dan was sitting on the counter, back to his normal towering height. Dan patted himself down, making sure all his limbs were still attached.

"Thank God." Dan sighed in relief. He hopped down from the counter. "We're never doing anything like that again."

"I dunno, Dan." Phil grinned. Phil personally thought Dan had looked pretty cute tiny. "Maybe someone will trip again. Or something will spill into your coffee…"

"You're mad." Dan cut him off, shaking his head. "No more shrinking solution is left, right?"

"Correct." Phil said. "It all spilled on you."

"Well, at least you're no longer armed then." Dan smiled. "Now i'm going to ignore the long term trauma this event is sure to bring and instead watch some cartoons. Feel free to join me once you clean up in here."

"Sure thing!" Phil said. Once he was sure Dan was out of the room, Phil carefully tucked away the shrinking solution recipe for safekeeping.

"Just in Case." Phil smiled to himself.


	7. 6 geese a' laying

Phil Lester yawned, stretching his little arms high above his head. He pulled himself out of the glorified cardboard box that was his bed, sat on the bedside table. Phil wouldn't mind as much about the location if he had a way down. Unfortunately, it had only been a week since he had been bought and his new owner hadn't considered such conveniences. Maybe Phil could voice his concerns someday.

As it was, the only activity available to Phil was to wait for Dan to wake up. Phil peered at his new human, observing the giant man as he slept. Dan was alright, as far as humans went. If Phil could fault him for anything, it was being lazy. Dan had an unhealthy habit of staying up late on his computer. This caused Dan to lay in bed all day, and in turn Phil often had to wait a few hours to do anything.

Phil's stomach grumbled, demanding breakfast. Phil sighed. If Dan would just wake up at a normal hour, he wouldn't sit here dreaming of lucky charms. Getting tired of this charade, Phil decided he had had enough.

"Hey, Dan?" Phil called out. Dan kept snoring. Rolling his eyes, Phil yelled louder. "Dan? Could you please get up? Dan! It's kind of already noon. You can't lay in bed all day every day. Seriously, are all humans this lazy? DAN, WAKE UP!" It was no use. It didn't matter that Phil yelled until his voice was sore. Dan was in too deep a slumber.

Phil wasn't ready to give up; rather, he decided to switch tactics. Judging the distance between the table and the bed, Phil decided it wasn't far. He had leapt greater distances before.

Taking it at a run, Phil jumped across the gap and landed with an 'oof!' on the mattress next to Dan's sleeping form. Dan, for his part, continued to snore peacefully. It was at this point Phil realised this might be a bad idea. He was in bed with a human who didn't know he was there. Dan could roll over in his sleep, crushing Phil without even knowing it. Phil shuddered; yet here he was- no backing out now.

Phil grabbed onto the blankets and began to climb up on top of Dan. Dan shifted in his sleep, and Phil nearly lost his grip. Phil's tiny heart began to race, praying silently that Dan wasn't rolling over. Dan suddenly moved his arm, causing Phil to fall. Phil cringed as his back hit the mattress. That would leave a bruise, but thankfully it was a soft surface. With Dan shifting around, Phil found himself trapped under the comforter with Dan.

After his prayer was answered and Dan stilled, Phil continued to climb with extra caution, this time climbing Dan's shirt. Usually Dan slept shirtless- Phil was glad Dan had fallen asleep in his clothes last night, or else Phil would have nothing to grip for climbing. The stifling heat made it very uncomfortable for Phil. When he reached the top, Phil gave himself a moment to breathe. Dan was sleeping on his back, with his head leaning to the side.

"Right." Phil spoke out loud. "How should I do this?" Phil didn't want to do anything that would make Dan hate him- or worse, hurt him. Phil had originally thought he could just push at Dan's face, but that would probably irritate Dan or Dan would think he was some sort of bug and try to swat him away in his sleep. Nope, time for plan B. Dan hadn't heard him from the bedside table, but maybe if he called Dan's name closer to his ear Dan would wake up?

It was worth a shot. Phil began to walk across Dan's chest. His breathing made the blankets under Phil unsteady, causing Phil to wobble. Getting tired of trying to keep his balance, Phil got down on his hands and knees to crawl. Phil imagined he looked more like a house cat trying to wake its owner for food. Phil was grateful Dan was asleep, because this was getting rather embarrassing.

After what felt like ages, Phil reached Dan's shoulders. Now he finally emerged from under the covers, breathing fresh, cool air once again. Phil's body was now slick with sweat, both from the physical exertion and body heat trapped in the blankets. Deciding this was close enough, he stood up and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"DAN!" Phil yelled. Unfortunately, this time Phil was a bit too loud. Dan bolted awake, sending Phil tumbling back down his chest.

"I'm awake!" Dan said, sounding panicked. It was clear his mind wasn't fully active. Feeling something move on his leg, he very nearly shrieked until he looked down and saw a disheveled Phil trapped in the blankets. "Uh...Phil?" Carefully, Dan untangled Phil from the blankets, holding him cupped in his hands. Dan noticed Phil felt oddly wet and brought Phil closer to his face. "What... what are you doing in my bed?"

"I…" Phil grimaced at how poorly this had gone. He could only hope Dan wouldn't be angry. "I was trying to wake you up. I'm sorry."

"Why did that involve getting in my bed?" Dan questioned. "You could've shouted somewhere besides directly into my ear." Phil wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I did." Phil explained. He felt insignificant when he couldn't wake Dan up with his voice, and the feeling was returning now when he was forced to put it into words. "You didn't hear me."


	8. 5 golden rings

Mark's life had always been difficult, but things went especially sour when the family cow stopped giving milk.

"I've told you a million times, Mark." His mother huffed. "It's a boy cow- the boy's don't milk. Now, I need you to go into town and sell it so we have enough money to eat." It made Mark sad to sell his only friend, but his mother came first.

"Excuse me, young lad." An old man stopped Mark on the road. "What are you doing with that sheep?"

"Uh, this is a cow?" Mark gave him an odd look.

"Oh sorry, wrong story." The old man shook his head. "May I purchase your cow? In return, I can offer you these." In his held out palm were three scrawny looking beans.

"Uh, beans?" By this point, Mark was just wondering how he could get away without seeming rude.

"Magic beans." The man corrected. "Here, I'll make you a special deal. Go home and test the beans. If nothing happens, I'll return the cow." Mark was no fool, but he did have a heart too kind for his own good. He trusted too much, which is why he found himself returning home with less than a handful of beans.

"How much did you get?" His mom asked when he returned home. Now feeling foolish, Mark explained what had happened in the woods. Furious, his mom threw the beans out the window and sent Mark to bed early. Mark thought that was fair, in hind sight.

The next morning, Mark was surprised to find his room still in darkness. Something was blocking his window outside. Heading to the backyard, Mark was shocked to find a giant beanstalk had grown overnight! The old man wasn't lying, after all.

Feeling the stalk, Mark realized it was very sturdy. Curiously, Mark decided to climb the beanstalk and see how high it went. For several hours Mark climbed, working up a sweat. The top of the beanstalk ascended far above the clouds. Mark gasped when he reached the top- an entire giant castle before him! Carefully, Mark stepped onto the cloud and found it could hold his weight.

Mark approached the castle, realizing it truly was gigantic. The front steps were a little taller than him. Jumping up, Mark tugged on the edge and hoisted himself up the steps. What purpose could this place possibly have?

"Hello?" Mark knocked on the wood, but there was no response. Thankfully, the huge front door was slightly ajar. It wasn't really trespassing if no one lived here. Not to mention, he had knocked. Mark peered in, seeing no one.

"Does anyone live here?" Mark called out, stepping in. Still no response. He began to explore the premise. It was truly a huge castle, looking elegant and well-decorated but to a scale 20 times the norm. In one room, Mark was shocked to find a whole pile of treasure. Enough gold was here to sustain the entire kingdom for centuries! What was it doing up in the clouds?

To be clear, Mark did not consider himself a criminal. But considering he hadn't seen anyone here, it was quite possible that this wealth was abandoned. If it wasn't a matter of life or death Mark wouldn't touch the stuff, but without a miracle Mark and his mother would starve. Mark grabbed five giant golden rings that were set aside, deciding to just take as much as he could in one trip and leave the rest. After all, in a horde so large five missing rings wouldn't be noticed.

As Mark wrapped his arms through the rings and prepared to leave, he was stopped by the muffled sound of crying. Was someone here? Mark didn't want to get caught red-handed, and suddenly wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Oh no, he really was turning to thievery. But curse his giant heart! His consciousness could never let him leave the person to cry alone. What if they needed help?

Mark approached the sound of the crying almost against his will. It seemed to get impossibly louder the closer Mark got. Peering into the room which held the source of the noise, Mark couldn't believe his eyes. There sat a giant man with green hair, crying into his knees. No wonder this castle was fit for a giant! Mark trembled, not daring to get closer. He should never have taken the rings. What if this giant had a nasty temper? Mark went to return the rings, when the sound of crying stopped. Mark looked up and saw the giant staring right at him.

"You." The giant's voice sounded hoarse, uncertain. "Who are you?" Mark gulped.

"Uh, m-mark." Mark felt his voice shaking.

"Don't be afraid." The giant looked at him kindly. He sounded like he had a foreign accent. "I won't hurt ye. My name's Jack. How'd you get here?"

"Uh, a weird man gave me some magic beans." Mark explained.

"Classic." Jack chuckled. "He's always trying to get people up here."

"May- may I ask why?" Mark was nervous about why this giant would need people.

"It's nothing." Jack shrugged. "It's stupid, it's just…" He sighed. "He knows I get lonely."

"You do?" Mark was surprised.

"It's the curse of the beanstalk." Jack explained. "Living in the most wonderful luxury, with everything you could ever ask for- everything except someone to share it with. No one understands that wealth won't bring you happiness."

"That's terrible." Mark sympathised. "I...I'm so sorry."

"It's my burden." Jack shrugged. "But thanks." Jack squinted, giving Mark a second look. "Hang on, what have you got there?" Mark shifted uncomfortably on his feet, wishing once again he hadn't taken the rings. His face turned red with guilt, not answering.

"You're stealing from me." Jack said quietly, realizing the truth. He glared at Mark. "I thought you were different from the others."

"No." Mark insisted. "I'm not- it's not like that, I just-"

"Take the rings and leave." Jack grumbled. "What are they to me anyway?"

"Please Jack, I-"

"GO!" Jack shouted angrily, scaring Mark. "Go before I change my mind! You humans are all the same! GET. OUT."

Mark ran, terrified for his life. Back through the passageways, now understanding their ominous nature. Readjusting his grip on the blasted rings, he climbed back down the beanstalk as fast as his legs would carry him.

Mark returned to the world below. In the end, he never sold the rings- he stored them away forever. Instead, he and his mother sold giant beans the continuously grew from the beanstalk. They became rich and lived the rest of their days in luxury.

Mark never forgot about Jack, though. He regretted taking the rings the rest of his life. Mark was plagued with unanswered questions. What if he had found Jack first, instead of the treasure? Perhaps in another world, in a different way, their paths could have crossed in a happier way.


	9. 4 calling birds

"Okay, I'm going to visit Jack for the weekend!" Felix called out to the seemingly empty house. "But if anyone were to possibly be living here, they would find plenty of easy to borrow snacks in the cupboard."

Marzia rolled her eyes listening to Felix. Subtlety was not one of Felix's strong suits. It had been over a month since she was first spotted by her human housemate, and Marzia was still too nervous to purposefully reveal herself. It went against every borrower instinct drilled into her brain.

Meanwhile, Felix had been more than accommodating, setting out sweets and other little gifts that Marzia now cherished and kept in her bedroom. Not once had Felix tried to force her out of hiding, and for that Marzia was grateful. She tried to ignore the sound of the door slamming shut, indicating Felix was gone. It was going to be a long weekend.

The next morning was eerily quiet without the sounds of Felix's morning routine. Marzia walked along the edge of the wall, feeling uneasy out in the open despite no one being home. With a trained arm, she threw her grappling hook- or rather, a refashioned earring- and hooked onto the counter. She began to climb the string, pondering her situation. Most borrowers would be grateful for some free time without fear of being seen, but Felix had changed something inside her. If she was being honest, Marzia was quite lonely being the only borrower in the house. Felix was the closest she had to a friend now.

"Oh!" Marzia said, pulling herself onto the counter. There sat Felix's cell phone, forgotten. "He must have left it behind." Marzia knew how cell phones worked from years of watching people. Her mind began whirling. Borrowers were always taught not to be seen, but no one ever said anything about being heard…

Seeing the device gave her an idea. The very suggestion of calling a human made her heart race with fear and excitement. But could she really do it? Contact them willingly?

Quickly, before her sudden burst of courage wore off, she pressed the call button.

"Hold on, someone's calling me." Jack paused the game, pulling the ringing phone out of his pocket.

"What?" Felix pretended to look upset. "You have people in your life besides me?"

Jack frowned, looking at the caller ID. "Actually, it says you're calling me."

"What?!" Felix laughed loudly. "Ha! I knew I was your only friend!"

"Shut up, ya doof." Jack pushed his friend off the couch.

"But seriously, I forgot my phone at home." Felix reminded him, not sure who could possibly be calling.

Jack answered the phone, now fully curious. "Hello?" It was silent for a moment before Jack heard unintelligible whispers. "I'm sorry, could you please speak up?"

"I..is felix there?" A very nervous girl spoke.

"Uh, yeah. Here he is." Jack covered the mouthpiece and looked at his friend. "Dude, do you have a girlfriend or something?"

"No, why?" Felix sat up, just as confused.

"It's for you." Jack shrugged, passing the phone over.

"Hello?" Felix asked.

"Felix?" The girl's voice was more confident. Felix's eyes went wide with realization.

"Marzia?!" Felix exclaimed, standing up to take the call in the other room. "How did you...dial the phone?"

"I pressed the buttons." Marzia explained. "It's not hard."

"Oh." Felix smiled. "Wow, it's so nice to hear your voice again."

"Yours too." Marzia paused. "I've missed you."

"I've only been gone a day." Felix pointed out, but he knew what she really meant.

"I know." Marzia sighed. There was a long pause between them, so many questions still unanswered.

"I'm glad you didn't move." Felix broke the silence first, sounding sincere. "I was so worried about you."

"I'm glad too." Marzia said. "I didn't want to go."

"So, if you're calling me, does that mean we can acknowledge each other's existence?" Felix asked hopefully. When there was no reply, he continued. "I didn't want to make you do things you're uncomfortable with, but I'd really like to spend more time with you."

"Me too." Marzia sounded conflicted. "With you, I mean, I'd like that very much. It's just a little hard for me."

"That's okay." Felix said. "I'll wait for you."

"I know." Marzia replied, sensing his sincerity.

"Do you-" Felix paused, choosing his words carefully. "Do you, maybe, want to watch a movie together or something when I get back?" Marzia was quiet for a long time.

"I'd like that." She said softly.

"Great!" Felix felt like dancing. "I promise to take things slow, and if it helps I'll stare at the wall the entire time so you don't get seen." Marzia laughed. "I, uh, won't see you soon. Goodbye, Marzia!" Felix hung up, feeling butterflies in his chest.

When Felix returned to the living room, Jack awaited him on the couch, looking mischievous.

"So." Jack wiggled his eyebrows. "Who's Marzia?"


	10. 3 French (mother) hens

As soon as the camera was turned off, Dan erupted in a loud fit of coughing.

"Dan." Phil said as Dan coughed up a lung. "Are you okay?"

"I am so sick." Dan admitted, sniffling.

"You should really take a break tomorrow." Phil advised him.

"I'm-" Dan interrupted himself with a nasty cough. "I'm fine."

"Ooh!" Phil clapped his hands excitedly. "I could take off the day too and help take care of you and make soup and there's an experimental mixture I've been-"

"NO." Dan immediately turned him down. "I'm gonna stop you right there. Every time you try to take care of me with science, something goes horribly wrong."

"But Dan, I've already run a fews tests-"

"Phil." Dan gave him a stern look. "If it'll make you feel better I'll head to bed early, but honestly it's nothing. I'm not taking the day off."

"Fine." Phil sighed. "But can I at least make you some soup?"

"That does sound good…" Dan thought it over. "Alright. One bowl of regular chicken noodle soup. But that's it!"

"Sounds good." Phil left for the kitchen as Dan got ready for bed. Phil set the pot on the stove, carefully cooking the soup. With a quick peek into the hall to see if Dan was watching, Phil quickly pulled out the recipe for the shrinking solution. If Dan was so reluctant to stay home and rest, Phil was going to force him to stay home for his own good. Not to mention, Phil had been itching to use this solution again.

"Perfect." Phil said, adding a few spoonfuls of the solution to the soup. It smelled a bit funky, but hopefully Dan's nose would be too clogged up to notice. For good measure, Phil added a dose of sedatives to make sure Dan slept through the night. That couldn't go horribly wrong.

"Hey, Dan?" Phil knocked quietly on his roommate's door. Hearing a quiet 'come in', Phil entered. Dan was looking absolutely pathetic in bed surrounded by tissues and a runny nose, only reassuring Phil of his plan. "I brought you some soup."

"You didn't put your new solution in it, did you?" Dan squinted suspiciously at Phil.

"Uh, I didn't put my new solution in it." Phil technically didn't lie, as the shrinking solution wasn't really new. Still, he felt a little guilty as he handed the bowl over to Dan. Dan gave it a cautious sniff, but evidently couldn't smell anything.

"Thanks Phil." Dan smiled at him, taking a few hearty sips. He grimaced. "Ugh, did you burn it?"

"Er, sorry." Phil came closer. "How- how are you feeling?"

"I think I'm feeling better." Dan's eyebrows furrowed. "I've kinda got this weird feeling in my gut. What do you-" He promptly passed out. Phil was ready for this, and grabbed the empty soup bowl before the remaining bits could spill on the bed.

"I'm sorry." Phil whispered to the unconscious Dan who was already beginning to change.

The next morning, Dan awoke feeling particularly groggy. Why did his mattress feel so unsupportive, like a giant bean bag? He opened his eyes.

"Oh god." Dan groaned. He was sat on his bed pillow, looking out at a giant version of his bedroom. A giant Phil was looming over him as Phil knelt next to the bed. Dan glared at him. "Phil!"

"You were going to try and go to work!" Phil's voice seemed deeper to Dan's tiny ears. "You clearly needed rest, considering you slept until noon. But that could be the sedatives…"

"Sedatives!" Dan tried to yell, but his voice was too scratched up. "What all was in that soup?!"

"That's all I swear." Phil said. "Cross my heart. Here, I brought you some breakfast." Phil set down a normal-sized plate carrying an array of tiny objects. Not only was there a meal fit to feed eight, but several shrunken containers of meds, water, and tissues. Dan approached the plate and grabbed some toast.

"You're nuts, Phil." Dan wouldn't look him in the eye.

"You can hate me forever later." Phil said, trying to be stern. "But right now I'm here to stay by your side until you are 100% healed."

"I never took you to be such a mother hen." Dan grumbled. "I'm a grown boy, I can heal myself."

"Well since you refused to do so, I took over." Phil argued. "Make sure to take two of those. They help with the clogged sinuses." He pointed to one of the pill containers.

"If you wanted to help you could just be normal for once and stick to soup." Dan said, but he did as Phil asked and took the pills.

"Noted." Phil looked unmoved.

"Phil, I mean it." Dan craned his neck to look up at Phil. Phil crouched down so it wouldn't be so difficult on Dan. "Next time this happens, I promise to stay home if you promise to stay relatively normal during the recovery."

"Fine." Phil nodded. "But one step out the door, young man-"

"And you'll turn me into your own personal doll?" Dan raised an eyebrow. Phil had the good sense to look embarrassed. "Phil, I don't always get you, but I understand how much you care for my well-being as well as your work. I'd appreciate if you kept the two separate."

"I'm sorry, Dan." Phil said. "Can I give you an apology hug?"

"Uh…" Dan wasn't sure that was such a good idea at this size.

"I'll be gentle." Phil promised, seeing Dan hesitate.

"You're gonna get sick." Dan warned, but Phil just shrugged.

"I don't care." Carefully, Phil reached out and picked up Dan. Dan stepped back carefully but for the most part held his ground. Phil cupped Dan to his chest, doing his best to protect his friend. Phil liked when Dan was small because he knew he could take care of him, but Phil also knew it was wrong to keep shrinking Dan.

"I'm sorry, Dan." Phil was clearly apologetic. "I promise, no more shrinking."

"Thank you, Phil." Dan's voice was muffled by his jumper. Phil carefully set Dan back into bed.

"Here's the growth serum." Phil handed Dan a small glass. "Drink all of it when you're ready. I'm going to go sleep for a bit and let you rest."

"Sleep?" Dan asked. "What time did you go to bed?"

"Uh, I kinda...didn't." Phil said sheepishly. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"You're the most possessive mother hen I have ever met." Dan rolled his eyes. "Go to bed, you great oaf!" When Phil finally left to get some much-needed rest, Dan ate a bit more of the breakfast. No sense in wasting all this stuff Phil had shrunk down, after all. A few extra hours tiny wouldn't kill him. In fact, Dan was beginning to find the shrinking process a little bit ...fun. Not that he'd ever admit that to Phil, though.

"I told you you'd get sick." A normal-sized Dan leaned in the doorway a few days later. Dan had made a full recovery, but Phil had now acquired the flu.

"Would you please make me some soup?" Phil sniffled, sounding weak. He put on his best puppy eyes.

"Only because you look so darn pathetic." Dan sighed, going to the kitchen. Noticing an abandoned bottle on the counter, Dan read the label: 'shrinking solution'. Dan grinned.

"Maybe it's time for a little revenge?" Dan considered, grabbing the bottle to save for later.


	11. 2 turtlepugs?

Felix put a few more crackers in his pack. Marzia wasn't home, so it was the perfect time to do some borrowing. Then again, he had no idea when she would return. Did he have enough time to refill his water supply?

"Come along, Maya, Edgar!" Marzia's voice sounded in the house, indicating she had returned home. That would be a 'no' then to the water. Felix quickly moved the outlet cover and returned to the hidden passageways of the walls. An unfamiliar pattering set of footsteps accompanied Marzia's entrance. Curious, Felix dashed through the walls to one of his viewing spots behind the hallway wall light. A slight barking sound began.

"Oh, no." Felix looked down. Marzia had brought home two little pugs, one of caramel and one of soot. Dogs were a dark omen for borrowers. They always tried to bite and sniff at borrowers, and if the dogs themselves weren't enough of a nuisance, they often gave away a borrower's position to humans.

Felix wasn't about to leave thanks to the presence of a few dirty pups. He was here first, after all! Still, life was about to get far more difficult for the young man. The next day, Felix's predictions proved true.

"Bye Maya!" Marzia hugged her pugs goodbye. "Goodbye, Edgar! I'll be back soon, okay?" With these parting words, Marzia left again. Immediately, Felix dashed out onto the kitchen counter to refill the water. The pugs came rushing over, barking up at him.

"Yeah, yeah." Felix waved them off. He ignored them and focused on the task at hand. Thank goodness these dogs were not very tall. He attached a rope to the faucet handle. Once it was secure, Felix took a running leap off the counter and held onto the rope for dear life, Causing the handle to turn. Now Felix briefly dangled directly over the curious black dog who barked like mad.

"You want me to fall, don't you?" Felix teased him. "Bet'cha think I'd make a tasty snack, huh? Not gonna happen ya moron." He pulled himself back up onto the counter. With the water now running, Felix was able to quickly fill up the spare water bottles. He made several trips in and out of the walls for more bottles, each time getting slightly more annoyed at the constant yapping of the pugs.

"Oh, shut up!" Felix shouted down at them. Surprisingly, the dogs were quiet and looked a little upset. Felix looked down and now realized these were only puppies. A thought occurred to him. He heard stories of other borrowers training dogs to help them get around. If these pugs were only babies, maybe Felix could do the same.

"Stay." Felix said in a loud, confident voice. Not understanding, Maya tilted her head. "Right, babies. Okay, let's do something stupid." Attaching his grappling hook to the edge of the counter, Felix began to slowly glide down to the floor. "No." Felix was stern as Edgar tried to get closer. Though they were too young to learn commands, they understood his tone of voice. When Felix reached the ground, he stuck his hands out and wondered what would be the best way to go about this.

"Calm." Felix said, slowly approaching the caramel one, Maya. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to ride you around like a noble steed, in a completely non-weird way." Maya, for her part, stayed calm. Edgar looked jealous and yearning for attention, but Felix ignored him because he seemed too rambunctious. When Maya lowered her head to sniff at Felix, Felix quickly jumped up and swung his leg over so he was on her back. Maya let out a startled yelp and stood up.

"Hey!" Felix gave her fur soothing pets to help calm the startled pup. "It's okay, Maya. It's just me." Maya, after a minute, began to calm down. Edgar, curious, came over and gave Felix a lick.

"EWWWW!" Felix shouted. "Edgar, no!" Edgar whimpered, backing off. "The hell is wrong with you, dog?" Now that everything was going well, Felix wasn't sure what to do next. With these pug's help, everything was looking great for Felix!

Except, then Marzia came home.

"Maya?" Marzia called out, opening the door in the front room. "Edgar?"

"Uh oh." Felix felt Maya tense under him. "Maya, please don't-" But Felix held no power anymore. Edgar and Maya bounded across the room happily to greet Marzia. It was all Felix could do to grip to Maya's fur and pray he didn't fall.

"Yes, I missed you too." Maya waggled happily as she was pet by her owner. Marzia's hand brushed against Felix briefly before quickly yanking away.

"Wait, what the- what are you?" Felix gulped, looking up to see Marzia staring right at him in extreme confusion.

"Uh-" Felix nervously waved. "Hi."


	12. Partridge in a Pear Tree

It had been three frickin' months since Mark first ventured up the beanstalk- and every day the towering plant mocked him. He still had trouble sleeping at night, often visited in dreams by visions of Jack. What if one day, Jack found the beanstalk and decided to come reap his revenge? Mark tried to remind himself that Jack didn't seem like a monster, but his mind couldn't forget the way Jack had lashed out.

Mark couldn't live in this life of paranoia any longer. Taking a shovel, Mark went into the backyard and dug up a faded chest. Opening it, he saw the five golden rings he had stolen from Jack. Mark only hoped that if he returned the rings, he could live in peace.

"Mark?" His mother asked as he walked out the front door with a suspiciously full looking bag. Mark was also dressed in his outdoor winter gear for the weather. "What are you doing?"

"I'm, uh, going hiking for a bit." Mark didn't meet her eyes. He had almost never lied to his mother, but she didn't know about the rings and would worry her head off if she knew where he planned to go.

"Well, alright." His mother sounded unconvinced, but didn't pressure him. For this, he was grateful. "But please be back soon. It is Christmas Eve, you know."

"I know." Mark gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Love you, mom."

It was indeed Christmas Eve. The feelings of guilt and fear had only escalated the further Mark got into this season of giving, which meant Mark couldn't wait another day. Grabbing onto the strong leaves of the beanstalk, Mark began to climb. It was a bit difficult with the added weight of the bag, but Mark was a strapping young lad who could handle the challenge. Still, Mark felt a little light-headed when he reached the top. Looking around, Mark was once again in awe at the magnitude of the world. Up here there was a layer of snow, and the low temperatures caused Mark to shiver. Even though he now lived like a king on the Earth below thanks to the beanstalk, up here he was reminded of his insignificance. It was a sight to humble the most pompous of lords.

Mark walked up to the giant castle, feeling nervous. The anxious feelings grew as he hoisted himself up the stairs, tossing the bag up each one first and then grabbing onto the ledge. Should he knock? It felt weird to just walk in now that he knew someone lived here.

Mark pounded on the door with his frozen fingers.

"Hello?" Mark shouted as loud as he could, teeth beginning to chatter. "J-Jack? Are you home?" There was no indication he was heard. "You might not remember me, but I came to return some ri- er, something, and wanted to apologize. Jack? Are you home, sir?" When there was still no response, Mark entered through the once again slightly open front door. Jack seemed very unconcerned about keeping out drafts and tiny trespassers.

In the room to Mark's right, Mark was surprised to see a colorful glow emanating. Peering in, Mark was stunned to see a gigantic Christmas tree lit up with hundreds of colorful fairy lights. Mark had never considered Jack celebrating Christmas. This was perfect! Mark could leave the rings under the tree as a sort of present. But he had no wrappings or decorations with which to make it a true present. Not to mention, without a bow it was unlikely Jack would even notice Mark's small bag. Mark approached the tree, looking up at the ornaments for anything to use.

There! Up in the tree was a group of twelve ornaments for the twelve days of christmas. How strange: A drum kit, a modern pipe, a boy leaping, a stereo, a glass of milk- mark was confused, for seven was some sort of potion?- then a bed, an empty ring box, a cell phone, a hen, two...for some reason pugs, and on the last branch was the classic partridge in a pear tree. At least the last one made sense; some were downright wacky. Around the partridge's neck was wrapped a beautiful red ribbon. It was perfect, just what Mark needed.

Mark set his bag near the base of the tree, and jumped to grab the first branches of the tree. He ascended into further into the pine, approaching the ornament. It was easy near the trunk, but the ornament hung on the outer edge or the branches. Mark began to crawl across the increasingly unsteady branch; He dared not look down. A slight breeze spooked Mark into clutching to the needles. It was very uncomfortable, but Mark was determined to get the ribbon. He was equally determined to not fall.

The tree began to shake, a distant thumping sound approaching. Eyes wide, Mark realized that was probably Jack's footsteps.

"Uh oh." Mark said, feeling his grip slip against the trembling limb. This was awkward. Only now did Mark consider that this could also be considered stealing. How did he manage to get into these situations? And what should he do now?

Mark's concerns about social acceptability quickly evaporated as Jack got closer to the tree. Mark cried out and was soon occupied with trying to stay alive, as the shaking of the branch had dislodged him so he was dangling like another ornament. His hands began to slip; he wouldn't be able to hold on like this for very long. Mark shut his eyes, not wanting to see how far he was about to fall.

A rustling of the branches below shook his branch, and suddenly Mark was in freefall, He screamed, only to find he...wasn't dead? Mark opened his eyes, only to see two giant concerned eyes peering at him through the branches. Looking down, Mark realized Jack had caught him in his hands.

Jack slowly pulled his hands and Mark out from the tree, and Mark covered his face so the brambles wouldn't scratch too much. Soon, Mark was out in the open and completely at Jack's mercy.

"H-hey Jack." Mark tried very hard to keep his voice from shaking, but he had forgotten just how BIG Jack truly was- not to mention, just the sight of Jack sent all those nightmares flooding back.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, his voice vibrating through Mark's bones.

"What?" Mark was thrown off by the question.

"I asked if you're okay." Jack repeated. "I'm not a monster, you know."

"I- yeah, i'm okay." Mark answered. "It's just, do you- do you remember me?"

"Yes, Mark." Jack replied, addressing Mark by name to prove his point.

"Right." This wasn't what Mark expected at all. "It's just that, I thought you would still be angry at me for stealing your rings. You were pretty, well, scary last we spoke."

"Do you really think it's in your best interest to remind me of a possible grudge when yer' literally in ma' hands?" Jack raised an eyebrow, and Mark gulped nervously.

"I'm sorry." Mark apologized. "For bringing that up, but uh- that's why I'm here. I'm returning your rings."

"What?" Jack looked genuinely surprised. "I thought those would be long gone."

"No." Mark shook his head. "I felt too guilty for taking them, but I didn't return them until now because I was…" Mark paused, ashamed to admit the next part to Jack's face. "I was afraid of you."

"...Oh." Jack looked away from Mark. He took a seat on the ground, slightly jostling Mark. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with his free hand. "Look, uh, I'm sorry for how I acted. That doesn't excuse it, but you kinda caught me on a bad day. Heh. Frankly I would'a been scared of me too. I can be pretty unpleasant." Mark snorted in agreement.

"In all honesty, I'm shocked you came back at all." Jack admitted. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Well, uh, here I am." Mark shrugged. "So, merry Christmas and all that."

"Yeah." Jack laughed, smiling. Mark liked Jack's smile. "All that cheesy junk."

"I do have to go home, though." Mark was disheartened when Jack's smile fell. "Well, my mother is expecting me home soon."

"Of course." Jack set him down on the floor. "Goodbye then, Mark."

"Goodbye, Jack." Mark said, beginning to walk across the room. "Hey, Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"When would be a good time to visit again?"


End file.
